you asked me why i would put up with, and associate with my best friend the other day?
(huh, funny you just walked in the PC room while i was writing this...you prolly wont remember what for, but im gonna add why, just as a reference for time in your life.
you walked in asking me had i seen the trailer for: DELIVER US FROM EVIL.
we both agreed it looks like a movie wed want to see. its june 8 2014, youll be 20 next month)
back to the reason im writting this..you asked me how, after all ive been through with sandy, why i would continue to associate with her.
one word...FAMILY.
she isnt flesh and blood, but shes the closest thing i have next to you to what i call FAMILY.
in my rebuttle, i turned the question back to you, and asked how could i love nanna after ALL she has done to hurt me, abuse me (and yes mental and emotional abuse is STILL abuse)..her cold nature, her demeining remarks, her always trying to push me away, her lack of love and a million other things i could say about her..how could i continue to love her?!!?!?!?!?!
simple..one word...FAMILY.
son, youll come to a place in your life when ppl who hurt you continuoulsy, still hold your heart.
maybe your child will be that indiovidual, maybe it will be your "perfect girl", maybe it will be me...who knows, but an individual will step all over every part of you, and youll STILL be right there beside them.
i love sandy, like my siste,r like we were flesh and blood, ive known her since i was 15, im 47 now..thats more years than you have been here...thats 32 years, well over half my life, if i remove the last few years since she and i have reunited, thats about 28, ir so...still more years than half my life.
and we did everything together. we had such fun, my memories of being with her are largely filled with laughter, and fun times, and they are brigheter than the times i remember that she did me wrong..
she was the balance to nanna, to be honest, while i cried myself to sleep some nights over being hurt by your grandmother, i welcomed the days when sandy and i would go looking in abandoned buildings, and pulling pranks on ppl, and talking, and opening up...
she was my soundboard, my relase valve for everything i went through as a young lady, and the entire time i never knew her pain..i never knew she had as much problems she has had, she never told me about most of them.
i did everything i did (that she eventually crapped on me for) because i love her.
and im doing it again, risking myself, putting myself out ther eon that branch, maybe it will snap, maybe it will bend, maybe...it will sit strong and firm..because i love her.
if you go off, injure my soul, by , oh lets say...getting arrested at walmart for , oh..maybe stealing a jacket...am i supposed to just forget you exist? simply because you hurt my heart? brike me? dissapointed me? no, of course not, because your my son.
why then is it any different for her? because shes NOT my flesh and blood? but she feels like she is, to me anyway.
your old enough now, that what she does with me, wont effect you to any great measure, and i wanted it like that.
your allowed to your opinion, i cant change that, but base it off of your own experience with her,not because of things i have told you. thats judging her on someone elses opinion. and not wise.
i have never been the eprson who doesnt like someone based on anyone elses thinking. nope. id go find out for myself if that was how that person was.
i have been told YOUR a troublemaker, a "bad person" , cant see "doing anything productive" and thats opinions of others, and while those words pierce me, because i know thay arnt the truth, i cant change the mind set of anyone who holds them.
so, please...judge her based on how you see her in person, how she really is in real life, she may have changed allot, and im hopefull thats the case, because i love this woman with almost all of my heart as id love a natural sister...
give her a chance.
youd want one.
i know i want them when i can get them.
(huh, funny you just walked in the PC room while i was writing this...you prolly wont remember what for, but im gonna add why, just as a reference for time in your life.
you walked in asking me had i seen the trailer for: DELIVER US FROM EVIL.
we both agreed it looks like a movie wed want to see. its june 8 2014, youll be 20 next month)
back to the reason im writting this..you asked me how, after all ive been through with sandy, why i would continue to associate with her.
one word...FAMILY.
she isnt flesh and blood, but shes the closest thing i have next to you to what i call FAMILY.
in my rebuttle, i turned the question back to you, and asked how could i love nanna after ALL she has done to hurt me, abuse me (and yes mental and emotional abuse is STILL abuse)..her cold nature, her demeining remarks, her always trying to push me away, her lack of love and a million other things i could say about her..how could i continue to love her?!!?!?!?!?!
simple..one word...FAMILY.
son, youll come to a place in your life when ppl who hurt you continuoulsy, still hold your heart.
maybe your child will be that indiovidual, maybe it will be your "perfect girl", maybe it will be me...who knows, but an individual will step all over every part of you, and youll STILL be right there beside them.
i love sandy, like my siste,r like we were flesh and blood, ive known her since i was 15, im 47 now..thats more years than you have been here...thats 32 years, well over half my life, if i remove the last few years since she and i have reunited, thats about 28, ir so...still more years than half my life.
and we did everything together. we had such fun, my memories of being with her are largely filled with laughter, and fun times, and they are brigheter than the times i remember that she did me wrong..
she was the balance to nanna, to be honest, while i cried myself to sleep some nights over being hurt by your grandmother, i welcomed the days when sandy and i would go looking in abandoned buildings, and pulling pranks on ppl, and talking, and opening up...
she was my soundboard, my relase valve for everything i went through as a young lady, and the entire time i never knew her pain..i never knew she had as much problems she has had, she never told me about most of them.
i did everything i did (that she eventually crapped on me for) because i love her.
and im doing it again, risking myself, putting myself out ther eon that branch, maybe it will snap, maybe it will bend, maybe...it will sit strong and firm..because i love her.
if you go off, injure my soul, by , oh lets say...getting arrested at walmart for , oh..maybe stealing a jacket...am i supposed to just forget you exist? simply because you hurt my heart? brike me? dissapointed me? no, of course not, because your my son.
why then is it any different for her? because shes NOT my flesh and blood? but she feels like she is, to me anyway.
your old enough now, that what she does with me, wont effect you to any great measure, and i wanted it like that.
your allowed to your opinion, i cant change that, but base it off of your own experience with her,not because of things i have told you. thats judging her on someone elses opinion. and not wise.
i have never been the eprson who doesnt like someone based on anyone elses thinking. nope. id go find out for myself if that was how that person was.
i have been told YOUR a troublemaker, a "bad person" , cant see "doing anything productive" and thats opinions of others, and while those words pierce me, because i know thay arnt the truth, i cant change the mind set of anyone who holds them.
so, please...judge her based on how you see her in person, how she really is in real life, she may have changed allot, and im hopefull thats the case, because i love this woman with almost all of my heart as id love a natural sister...
give her a chance.
youd want one.
i know i want them when i can get them.
